On Faith in Jesus’ Resurrection

A few thoughts on Easter

On the night before Easter I feel an unexpected urge to write about religion, faith, and Jesus. I don’t do this often, nor do I plan to, so I will make this short & sweet.

I’m Christian. I was raised Catholic. As a child, I went to church every Sunday. I didn’t question what I was taught. Going to mass was just what you did.

As an adult, I’m embarrassed by the Catholic church. I think Pope Francis is a communist faggot. I call him Pope Faggot. If I go to Hell for this, that’s fine. I’ll ask God why he let a communist faggot become the Pope before I burn. But I’m too old to change religions. It is what it is.

In college I read the New Atheist material. Yes, very cringe. Cringe for the people who became and remained Atheists. For me, it was intellectually and existentially challenging to face very tough questions about what I was raised to believe. You cannot ignore hard questions, hypocrisies, and logical inconsistencies about your alleged beliefs. If you believe in something then you should be able to contend with all legitimate challenges to it.

This inspired me to read the New Testament again as an adult, with my own eyes, as a man with experience in the world, and outside the purview of the interpretations of priests and family.

I always felt a very deep connection with God, my gut instincts, forces outside of myself — whatever you want to call it. I don’t write or talk about my faith because it’s extremely personal. I believe the people who talk about religion the most, or make it their identity, have less of a connection with God than people who keep their relationship with Him to themselves.

I’m not a stereotypical “good Christian.” I am a sinner. Because of this, I don’t pretend to be a good person, and I deeply loathe people who do.

I don’t pray to God to give me things. I ask God to help me with my flaws. I believe God knows what we need on an individual level. When I admit my flaws to Him, and ask Him for help with them, He does. On His own time and in His own way. But He does. Prayer works. This is why I don’t believe in following religions “by the book.” That’s for people who need to be told how to think and what to do. Faith is personal.

When I don’t pray regularly, my world feels more chaotic and out of alignment with forces higher than myself. When I pray on a regular basis, my world begins to reorganize itself in mysterious ways that I couldn’t have expected or predicted, in due time. This realignment continuously strengthens my faith.

On the question of whether or not I believe Jesus actually rose from the dead — I do. I don’t feel compelled to explain why. That’s what Faith means. I have Faith that the man who spoke the words in the Gospel of John is not merely a man, and not merely divine — but God himself.

I refuse to believe mere humans are capable of speaking those words. That isn’t how humans speak. If you haven’t read the Gospel of John, I highly recommend it.

Happy Easter everyone.